The Trouble with Facebook

Oh, that pesky Facebook. If only it weren't my #3 obsession, right behind "LOST" and movie popcorn. You love it, I love it. It's a fantastic way to meet up and keep up with old friends, a great place to post pictures, and it's a guilt free way to legally stalk people in a non-scary way. Well, "stalk" may be a harsh word, but you get the picture.

But here's the problem. I'm 27. Seemingly 98% of my "friends" (I put "friends" in quotes because, let's be honest, most of the people you're friends with on Facebook are people you haven't seen in years) are currently boasting burgeoning baby bellies or have recently birthed a real-live baby. Now, this isn't to say that I'm not thrilled for them. Okay, fine, "mostly happy and moderately jealous" is a more accurate description of my feelings. But being bombarded day after day with the news of yet another almost-friend being pregnant has become somewhat overwhelming. Going along with my new mean-streak, I've even taken to whining to J, "Really, SHE'S having a baby? HER?!" Not fair or nice, I realize.

My Mom tells me that I should quit Facebook altogether. Cold turkey. Yeah right -- I'd sooner quit carbs or TiVo. Perhaps I should remove all pregnant ladies and new mommies from my News Feed? Or try and be happy for them and not make comparisons to my own hardly flat, but not rounded and pregnant belly? In the olden days of 2003, before the days of FB, I wouldn't even be hearing about 3/4 of these blissful pregnancies. Sometimes I even torture myself with my sort-of-friends' increasingly popular Baby Belly Photo Albums. Why do I do this?! Again, quitting my technological addiction would certainly curb the majority of this problem, but unfortunately, it's not an option. I can't stop, I'm hooked.

Until I find a solution or pregnancies around the world screech to a halt, I have to find a way to me happy for these kind-of-strangers. Or at least the almost-chums. Definitely the actual friends.