Taking a vacation from my problems!

J and I are on a wonderful vacation. Perhaps a lovely Mexican resort, you ask? Nope. Just a vacation from TTC. A much needed vacation, as it turns out.

As I mentioned in a recent post, I haven't been this relaxed in quite some time. I'm remembering what it feels like to be normal again. My only fear? It feels really great. I'm not anxious to board that train again anytime soon.

When J and I first started trying to conceive back in 2008, I couldn't fathom taking a break. Why would you take a break? Why not keep charging ahead? Time's a' wastin'! Shows what I knew. J and I really hit a breaking point last month and we both realized that a break was absolutely necessary for our sanity.

But what if I want to stay in Oz forever?

I shared my fears with a friend recently. Two friends, actually. They went through all of the TTC/IF crap that we've gone through and more. After one IVF cycle, they finally became pregnant and are expecting in a couple of weeks! I'm beyond thrilled for them. Anyway, they had Follistim left over and donated it to our cause, saving us a LOT of money. So, to thank them, we took them to a tasty local restaurant last week. On the way there, I spilled my guts. Confessed my feelings of current ambivalence to trying again. My friend calmed my fears, for the most part. He said that they reached a similar point and actually cancelled a previous IVF cycle due to a minor meltdown over those very feelings. (Thank GOD! I'm not crazy or alone!) They ended up taking a few months off, gained some perspective and clarity, and eventually tried again (and succeeded). He advised that we do the same -- follow our hearts, listen to our feelings, don't jump into anything before we feel absolutely ready. I really look up to these friends -- they are older, wiser, and have been through the IF wringer. So, coming from them, this advice meant a lot.

It's odd, though. This has been such an intense focal point in my life for the past handful of years and taking a vacation from it altogether makes me feel like a part of myself is missing. It's somewhat unsettling. Leave it to me to spend a mental vacation worrying about the vacation itself.

Let's focus on some fun times.

I'm taking a bit of a much needed mental break from thinking/talking about TTC. Honestly, it feels fantastic. I don't feel like a dark cloud is following me around for the first time in years. I don't feel sad all the time. I'm not constantly consumed with follicle size or injections. Eventually I will have to face the music, but for now, I choose the ignorance-is-bliss route.

So, instead, I'll blog about something fun! A few months ago, my brother married the love of his life. I absolutely adore both of my brothers -- the three of us are really close, which is something that I am incredibly grateful for. The wedding was a b-l-a-s-t. Due to the aforementioned closeness, I cried through the entire ceremony.

A few of my closest friends came along, which made the whole weekend even more wicked awesome. My sister-in-law has absolutely beautiful taste and the wedding and reception were impeccably planned down to every last detail. Care to take a peek? Here is a trailer for their wedding video, which will come out later this year:

Flavia & Elliott - Cinematic Movie Trailer from Simply Cinematic on Vimeo.

Pretty fantastic, huh? I tear up every time I hear my brother's Best Man toast AND when I see J tying my brother's tie. What can I say...I'm a bit of a softy. Speaking of my three favorite boys, here is one of my favorite pictures from the wedding:



Freakin' adorable.

Now I just need to find another opportunity to wear long, blonde hair extensions (my hair is only about shoulder length), because that was lots of fun. The rest of the bridesmaids? Well, their hair is actually that long. Me? Jealous. I've also been heavily debating chopping my bridesmaid dress off to make it knee length. I LOVE the dress and can hardly stand to consider parting with it in its current form, but honestly, when will I be able to wear a floor length dress again? If it were short, I could wear it much more easily and it would still be cute, right? Oh, but the thought of butchering it makes me sad. Then again, the thought of wearing it again is tempting...