Contrary to evidence that might suggest otherwise, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. J and I have been taking a much needed vacation from TTC. Initially, our intention was to merely put a temporary stop to fertility treatments, shots, ultrasounds, etc. You know, the invasive stuff. To put all of that on hold until we were ready to revisit that world.
Somewhat organically, our little TTC vacation has turned out to also be a vacation from even talking about TTC. We never discussed this as being an intentional part of taking a break, but as it turns out, neither of us were eager to discuss all of that crapola while supposedly taking a break from it. And you know what? It feels fantastic. We needed a mental break as much as we needed a physical break. Perhaps people have some sort of sixth sense about these things, because our family and friends have been really good about not bringing it up in conversation. This is not to say that I don't welcome the occasional question, update request, or supportive email. I appreciate nothing more than the interest and support of our loved ones. But for the most part, we've taken a complete hiatus from discussion. Which, in turn, has included blogging.
Where are we now? Not sure. We had a little chat a few days ago and agreed that neither of us are eager to dive back in just yet. We are really trying to listen to our hearts and wait until we feel really ready before starting the process again. We are fairly certain that IVF will be our next step and feel that it would be wise to wait until we feel rested and strong enough (mentally and physically) to go in swinging.
It's tough. Babies all around. Adorable, chubby, laughing, happy babies and their happy parents. Putting aside the normal fears about becoming parents, J and I feel more ready than ever to be parents. That being said, though, we think that waiting for the "right time" for IVF is important and will probably be beneficial to our success.
So, we're still here! Feel free to check in once in a while. This is the healthiest I've felt in months. I definitely needed a break. Time to breathe, clear my head, and think about other facets of my life that don't include injections, 7am ultrasounds, and planning my life around cycle math. I would estimate that sometime in early 2011 we will make the decision to go in for a second opinion and, if recommended, go ahead with IVF. How very exciting/terrifying/surreal.
