We will find out in the next week or two. I've managed to keep most of my wits about me, but I'm worried that in the next few days, I'll spiral into craziness. Some questions that are starting to pop up in my nutty head...
How will we feel if we're not pregnant this time? How will we afford to keep doing this? What if we have to go to IVF? What if THAT doesn't work? Why do people keep mentioning the "adoption option?" Why does the mention of adoption make me feel like people are betting against our fertility treatments working? What if I miscarry? How would I deal with a miscarriage after all of this work to get pregnant? Am I more likely to miscarry because of my PCOS and fertility treatments? Has my doctor tested me for EVERYTHING that could be causing problems? What if I have blocked tubes and don't know it? Why is this happening to us? Why isn't it easy for us? Are my friends judging us for spending all of this time/money/effort on trying to get pregnant? Do people have opinions about what we're doing? Are people sick of hearing about this? Is EVERYONE pregnant? How will I feel if person A, B, or C gets pregnant before me? Will I ever get pregnant?
Just a peek inside my messy brain.
I think that it just breaks people's hearts to see you guys going through something this hard, and I think by mentioning the "adoption option," people are just trying to express their wish for you two to not have to go through this anymore. Not that they're telling you to give up or anything. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteChristine-tine, you're right -- I know people are just trying to help! And I want you to know that I definitely wasn't referring to you (or to anyone, specifically). It's just that right now, our dream is to have babies that are "ours," and adoption doesn't feel right, at least at this time. But we're not ruling out the possibility! I know that adoption is a wonderful thing and have a handful of friends and family members who have adopted and couldn't feel more blessed. It's just hard to think about that right now, because when adoption is mentioned, it always kind of nudges me further in the direction of feeling like this will never happen for us (by no fault of the person offering the advice).
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of your support!! I really appreciate it :) xoxoxo
I can help you out with a few of these:
ReplyDeleteAre my friends judging us for spending all of this time/money/effort on trying to get pregnant? -- Not at all. We're in your corner, regardless of what decision you and Justin make.
Do people have opinions about what we're doing? -- I'm sure they do, but who cares? People have opinions about everything. You have to do what makes you happy and, so long as that doesn't harm anyone else, screw 'em.
Are people sick of hearing about this? -- No one who matters.
Is EVERYONE pregnant? -- I'm not.
Carl -- xoxoxoxo! I am so thankful to have you guys as friends!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Carl!
ReplyDelete