Remember, the dress will be tangerine, so don't let the colors be a part of your decision. Also, only the dark purple one is in my size -- the other two are one size too big, so they would fit better once I got them in a size smaller.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Bridesmaid Dress -- A, B, or C?
My awesome friend, C, is getting married in October and is allowing her bridesmaids to choose any short dress from David's Bridal that comes in "tangerine." J and I went this evening to try and make a decision, but I walked away with three favorites. Which shall it be? Opinions needed!
Remember, the dress will be tangerine, so don't let the colors be a part of your decision. Also, only the dark purple one is in my size -- the other two are one size too big, so they would fit better once I got them in a size smaller.
Remember, the dress will be tangerine, so don't let the colors be a part of your decision. Also, only the dark purple one is in my size -- the other two are one size too big, so they would fit better once I got them in a size smaller.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Post-Op
Today was my post-op appointment with Dr. G. J and I were shocked and amazed when he came in at 11:35 for our 11:30 appointment. Dr. G isn't exactly know for his punctuality, so it was nice to get in and out of there in a timely manner today.
As I expected, he said my incisions looked great. I'm feeling virtually back to normal. He showed us before-and-after pictures of all of my insides, which was kind of awesome. How often do you get to look at pictures of your uterus, ovaries, kidneys, and fallopian tubes? We also saw pictures of my (fairly mild) endometriosis before it was removed.
Then, onto the next plan. Dr. G asked us if we wanted to take 3 to 4 months and just "see what happens." Uh, NO! Absolutely not! We are 2 1/2 years in and have had to take breaks this year for the HSG and Lap -- we're tired of breaks. We're ready to get back on the horse! So, we decided to move on with IUI. Until now, we've always done timed intercourse (which is just as exciting and spontaneous as it sounds), so we are hoping that IUI will increase our chances a bit. That plus the Lap and freshly flushed tubes = our best chance yet, right?
A note on timed intercourse. We are both beyond okay with moving on from that. J and I used to be dead set on trying to get pregnant just like "normal" people. We wanted to feel like we did things as naturally as possible and get pregnant the "normal" way -- by having sex! Plus the help of drugs and many ultrasounds, sure, but at the end of the day, sperm meets egg. You know what? We're over that. It was a lovely dream, but at this point, bring on the more advanced tactics. To tell you the truth, we're tired of sex being a means to an end. When it's "timed intercourse," it's not fun. It's not sexy. It's not exciting. It's a job, plain and simple. Plus, IUI takes the guess work out of the process and puts it into the hands of professionals.
So, once my next period starts, full speed ahead with IUI! Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's the same spiel as before -- Follistim 175mg, frequent ultrasounds, trigger shot, and then into the office for the procedure.
This all sounds great, right? Right. So why did I cry all the way home from our appointment? Why do I feel stressed, overwhelmed, pessimistic, and sad? I suppose after 2 1/2 years and seven failed medicated cycles, it's hard to keep believing that we'll ever get there. But as J keeps telling me, this should be our best chance yet. Our last cycle looked great on paper, and our chances should only improve. I need to take a deep breath and relax. Maybe this could be our time! Dr. G joked with us on the way out that hopefully we won't get "more than two" out of the deal. J's response to that is always, "Two beats zero!" He's right. The thought of multiples is a bit frightening, but it always beats zero! We just want a baby. Or babies. We're ready.
As I expected, he said my incisions looked great. I'm feeling virtually back to normal. He showed us before-and-after pictures of all of my insides, which was kind of awesome. How often do you get to look at pictures of your uterus, ovaries, kidneys, and fallopian tubes? We also saw pictures of my (fairly mild) endometriosis before it was removed.
Then, onto the next plan. Dr. G asked us if we wanted to take 3 to 4 months and just "see what happens." Uh, NO! Absolutely not! We are 2 1/2 years in and have had to take breaks this year for the HSG and Lap -- we're tired of breaks. We're ready to get back on the horse! So, we decided to move on with IUI. Until now, we've always done timed intercourse (which is just as exciting and spontaneous as it sounds), so we are hoping that IUI will increase our chances a bit. That plus the Lap and freshly flushed tubes = our best chance yet, right?
A note on timed intercourse. We are both beyond okay with moving on from that. J and I used to be dead set on trying to get pregnant just like "normal" people. We wanted to feel like we did things as naturally as possible and get pregnant the "normal" way -- by having sex! Plus the help of drugs and many ultrasounds, sure, but at the end of the day, sperm meets egg. You know what? We're over that. It was a lovely dream, but at this point, bring on the more advanced tactics. To tell you the truth, we're tired of sex being a means to an end. When it's "timed intercourse," it's not fun. It's not sexy. It's not exciting. It's a job, plain and simple. Plus, IUI takes the guess work out of the process and puts it into the hands of professionals.
So, once my next period starts, full speed ahead with IUI! Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's the same spiel as before -- Follistim 175mg, frequent ultrasounds, trigger shot, and then into the office for the procedure.
This all sounds great, right? Right. So why did I cry all the way home from our appointment? Why do I feel stressed, overwhelmed, pessimistic, and sad? I suppose after 2 1/2 years and seven failed medicated cycles, it's hard to keep believing that we'll ever get there. But as J keeps telling me, this should be our best chance yet. Our last cycle looked great on paper, and our chances should only improve. I need to take a deep breath and relax. Maybe this could be our time! Dr. G joked with us on the way out that hopefully we won't get "more than two" out of the deal. J's response to that is always, "Two beats zero!" He's right. The thought of multiples is a bit frightening, but it always beats zero! We just want a baby. Or babies. We're ready.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Happiest Place on Earth
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Well, Stirrup Queens has done it again. Her most recent post about her trip to Disney World brought me to tears. I read through it, nodding along, thinking that I will feel exactly the same way when J and I can fulfill our dream of finally bringing our future, hypothetical children to Disney World.
Disney World is like a second home to me. I've been nearly every year (some years more than once!) since I was a little girl. J and I know it backwards and forwards and yet never get tired of going. In recent years, trips to Disney have been bittersweet. On one hand, we joke that we are stroller free and can, therefore, navigate our way through crowds and lines like ninjas. We can ride the adult rides until we're blue in the face and don't have to worry about bed times, being slowed down by toddlers, screaming children, or paying for extra tickets. Then again, we want nothing more than to deal with all of the above. I can't imagine how special it will be to share Disney World with children of our very own.
Until then, we will enjoy our ability to run through Disney World like pros without being slowed down. But deep down, we'll be wishing and hoping for the day when we can leisurely push a stroller around EPCOT and watch our little boy or girl experience the magical world of Disney for the very first time.
P.S. The little guy in my picture is Pierre, our gnome. We bought him in 2007 to take with us to Europe for picture-taking-fun, and he's traveled with us ever since!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Recovery
Day after Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy. So far, not too bad! I have two small incisions -- one in my belly button and one a few inches below. I honestly don't even feel the lower one! However, the one in my belly button is a bit sore today. Not intolerable, though, and Lortab/Aleve definitely help to take the edge off. I've been taking both in the prescribed doses and plan to do so at least through this evening.
My other pain is sort of unrelated, and that is a sore neck, throat, and jaw. I think I have been using those muscles to pull myself out of bed and to flip over while sleeping in order to avoid using my stomach muscles, which has caught up with me. But again, I've been taking pain medication, so it's not too terrible!
All in all, I have to say, recovery ain't so bad! I'm not exactly ready to put on jeans and rejoin the outside world, but I'm doing just fine.
Side note: Some friends of mine are going to a club in downtown Indi.ana.polis tonight because they are playing nonstop Michael Jackson from 9pm-3am. At midnight, the Thriller album will be played in its entirety. Now, I'm a girl who usually has to be dragged out to the clubs, but I am supremely bummed to be missing this!
My other pain is sort of unrelated, and that is a sore neck, throat, and jaw. I think I have been using those muscles to pull myself out of bed and to flip over while sleeping in order to avoid using my stomach muscles, which has caught up with me. But again, I've been taking pain medication, so it's not too terrible!
All in all, I have to say, recovery ain't so bad! I'm not exactly ready to put on jeans and rejoin the outside world, but I'm doing just fine.
Side note: Some friends of mine are going to a club in downtown Indi.ana.polis tonight because they are playing nonstop Michael Jackson from 9pm-3am. At midnight, the Thriller album will be played in its entirety. Now, I'm a girl who usually has to be dragged out to the clubs, but I am supremely bummed to be missing this!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy: Check!
I'm home! I'm home! I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted now that the Lap is behind me. I've been stressing about it for weeks and, true to form, my anxiety was much worse than the procedure itself.
My Mom, a former nurse and excellent caretaker, was kind enough to come up for the procedure. She, J and I got to the surgery center around Noon, filled out some paperwork, and played a bit of Travel Scrabble. Around 12:30, the nurse took me back to get me started on an IV. That was the worst part. I knew it wasn't going to be great when she looked at me with that, "Your veins don't look like they're going to cooperate" look I get often from nurses. Phlebotomists rarely have an issue, but nurses often have trouble with my small, deep-set, "rolling" veins. She opted for my hand and warned me, "Big stick..." Ouch. More than the actual pain was just the creepiness of having something in my hand, semi-permanently. What can I say, I'm creeped out easily.
After an hour or so of Samantha Brown and Mythbusters, J, Mom and I parted ways and I headed back to the operating room. I was surprised to see five or six different people in there -- I didn't realize it would take an entire team to perform such a simple procedure! I was quickly surrounded by three people who were hooking me up to things, having me breathe in oxygen, and putting my arms in place. Luckily, they moved at a rapid pace and I didn't have much time to get more nervous. The anesthesiologist told me I would be out in about 15 seconds, but I don't think it took that long.
Next thing I knew, they were lifting me back onto my bed and wheeling me into my recovery room. I woke up with "More Than a Woman" in my head, which is odd. Maybe they were listening to it at the end? Or maybe I'm just a freak. Anyway, I felt really groggy and drugged, but not much pain besides a sore throat from the tube. I'm not a big fan of feeling drugged up, so I was fighting hard to wake up and snap out of it. The nurse gave me some ice chips and crackers, which helped with my throat a bit. I was absolutely thrilled not to be nauseous. My last real surgery was over 20 years ago, but I remember vomiting afterwards and not being too happy about it.
After 30 minutes or so, they let my Mom and J come back and see me. After getting dressed, Dr. G came by to give me the full report:
1. He did find some endometriosis, but told J that it was a fairly mild case and that he was able to treat (remove?) it. I believe it is the kind of thing that can regenerate over time, but hopefully we will hurry up and get pregnant soon so that we don't have to worry about that!
2. He found a small polyp and was able to remove that as well. Didn't seem like a big deal.
3. Apparently my uterus is slightly curved, which I gather can create complications in pregnancy. However, Dr. G said that it was slight enough that I shouldn't have a problem carrying a baby to term.
And that's that! They wheeled me out and let me go home. I had a bit of gas pain under my rib cage and in my collar bone on my right side, but nothing too terrible. I walked around the house a bit when I got home and it actually subsided fairly quickly. My Mom ran to CVS to pick up my Lortab Rx, crackers, and 7-Up while J and I watched the TiVo'd USA vs. Algeria World Cup game (go USA, btw!).
So, now I'm home with some cookies from Paradise and my new Daria DVDs. Mom and J are taking excellent care of me and, so far, I'm feeling great!
My Mom, a former nurse and excellent caretaker, was kind enough to come up for the procedure. She, J and I got to the surgery center around Noon, filled out some paperwork, and played a bit of Travel Scrabble. Around 12:30, the nurse took me back to get me started on an IV. That was the worst part. I knew it wasn't going to be great when she looked at me with that, "Your veins don't look like they're going to cooperate" look I get often from nurses. Phlebotomists rarely have an issue, but nurses often have trouble with my small, deep-set, "rolling" veins. She opted for my hand and warned me, "Big stick..." Ouch. More than the actual pain was just the creepiness of having something in my hand, semi-permanently. What can I say, I'm creeped out easily.
After an hour or so of Samantha Brown and Mythbusters, J, Mom and I parted ways and I headed back to the operating room. I was surprised to see five or six different people in there -- I didn't realize it would take an entire team to perform such a simple procedure! I was quickly surrounded by three people who were hooking me up to things, having me breathe in oxygen, and putting my arms in place. Luckily, they moved at a rapid pace and I didn't have much time to get more nervous. The anesthesiologist told me I would be out in about 15 seconds, but I don't think it took that long.
Next thing I knew, they were lifting me back onto my bed and wheeling me into my recovery room. I woke up with "More Than a Woman" in my head, which is odd. Maybe they were listening to it at the end? Or maybe I'm just a freak. Anyway, I felt really groggy and drugged, but not much pain besides a sore throat from the tube. I'm not a big fan of feeling drugged up, so I was fighting hard to wake up and snap out of it. The nurse gave me some ice chips and crackers, which helped with my throat a bit. I was absolutely thrilled not to be nauseous. My last real surgery was over 20 years ago, but I remember vomiting afterwards and not being too happy about it.
After 30 minutes or so, they let my Mom and J come back and see me. After getting dressed, Dr. G came by to give me the full report:
1. He did find some endometriosis, but told J that it was a fairly mild case and that he was able to treat (remove?) it. I believe it is the kind of thing that can regenerate over time, but hopefully we will hurry up and get pregnant soon so that we don't have to worry about that!
2. He found a small polyp and was able to remove that as well. Didn't seem like a big deal.
3. Apparently my uterus is slightly curved, which I gather can create complications in pregnancy. However, Dr. G said that it was slight enough that I shouldn't have a problem carrying a baby to term.
And that's that! They wheeled me out and let me go home. I had a bit of gas pain under my rib cage and in my collar bone on my right side, but nothing too terrible. I walked around the house a bit when I got home and it actually subsided fairly quickly. My Mom ran to CVS to pick up my Lortab Rx, crackers, and 7-Up while J and I watched the TiVo'd USA vs. Algeria World Cup game (go USA, btw!).
So, now I'm home with some cookies from Paradise and my new Daria DVDs. Mom and J are taking excellent care of me and, so far, I'm feeling great!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Daria
Tomorrow is my Laparoscopy and I already have some serious butterflies. I'm a big wimp about surgery, anesthesia, recovery, etc, and stress/anxiety always goes straight to my stomach.
BUT -- J got me the best post-surgery gift EVER: The entire series of Daria on DVD (eight DVDs, to be exact), including "Is it Fall Yet?" and "Is it College Yet?" My recovery time just got a lot more fun, people!
BUT -- J got me the best post-surgery gift EVER: The entire series of Daria on DVD (eight DVDs, to be exact), including "Is it Fall Yet?" and "Is it College Yet?" My recovery time just got a lot more fun, people!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Note to self: Skip things like Facebook on Mother's/Father's Day. It's like taking a bullet.
That being said, I'm extremely thankful and grateful for my and J's fathers. They have supported us 1,000% through this time of trial and we feel so very loved by both of them (and our mothers!). Hopefully one year from today J will have something to celebrate.
That being said, I'm extremely thankful and grateful for my and J's fathers. They have supported us 1,000% through this time of trial and we feel so very loved by both of them (and our mothers!). Hopefully one year from today J will have something to celebrate.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Anyone out there?
I tend not to update my friends and family very often with our TTC stuff because:
A. It's not all that fun to talk about.
B. It bums people out.
C. I sometimes assume that they are reading the blog and would prefer to get their information here rather than me always bombarding them with updates.
But I wonder, are our friends/family reading? I certainly don't expect them to hang on my every word, and I'm sure a lot of them don't feel the need to know every detail. Totally understandable. But for instance, I haven't updated my in-laws or some of my closest friends in a while. Should I? It's not that I mind talking about it, but it's become somewhat of a bitter subject lately.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Hard to find the balance sometimes. If you are reading, drop a comment from time to time!
A. It's not all that fun to talk about.
B. It bums people out.
C. I sometimes assume that they are reading the blog and would prefer to get their information here rather than me always bombarding them with updates.
But I wonder, are our friends/family reading? I certainly don't expect them to hang on my every word, and I'm sure a lot of them don't feel the need to know every detail. Totally understandable. But for instance, I haven't updated my in-laws or some of my closest friends in a while. Should I? It's not that I mind talking about it, but it's become somewhat of a bitter subject lately.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Hard to find the balance sometimes. If you are reading, drop a comment from time to time!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Laparoscopy scheduled!
It's on the books, folks! No turning back now! I'll be having a Laparoscopy on Wednesday, June 23. J is taking that day off to be with me before and after the surgery. As far as recovery time goes, I've heard anything between four days and two weeks. Hopefully it will be an easy, speedy procedure and recovery. More importantly, hopefully they won't find anything that we need to be concerned about, like Endometriosis.
In other news, J and I got back late last night from my younger brother's wedding in Florida. We had a f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c time with our friends and family. Absolutely beautiful wedding. It was the first vacation in years (maybe ever?) that neither of us wanted to leave! Usually we are ready to head home by the end of the week, but not this time. Partially because we had such an amazing time, and partially because we weren't looking forward to coming home to our TTC reality. On the positive side, the wedding/trip completely took my mind off of TTC and the upcoming Lap for an entire week, which is quite a feat.
In other news, J and I got back late last night from my younger brother's wedding in Florida. We had a f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c time with our friends and family. Absolutely beautiful wedding. It was the first vacation in years (maybe ever?) that neither of us wanted to leave! Usually we are ready to head home by the end of the week, but not this time. Partially because we had such an amazing time, and partially because we weren't looking forward to coming home to our TTC reality. On the positive side, the wedding/trip completely took my mind off of TTC and the upcoming Lap for an entire week, which is quite a feat.
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