No Longer Alone

I am a professional musician. This is absolutely my dream job and I could easily write a 30 page blog post on how blessed I feel to be able to do something I love (and live and breathe for) for a living. When I'm not rehearsing/performing, I'm teaching private lessons, which I also adore.

Last week, during a lesson with a girl who I've taught for over six years, something very fortuitous happened. She is a senior and therefore graduating in a few weeks, so I didn't mind spending some of her lesson just chatting. Somehow we got on the topic of exercise, which led her to divulge to me that she was recently diagnosed with PCOS. Even though PCOS affects nearly 10% of women, I had literally only met one other actual human who has PCOS before now. I immediately told her (even though I usually keep this information somewhat private) that I, too, suffer from the evil monster that is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Her eyes got big and relief seemed to wash over her face. I immediately knew how she was feeling: no longer alone. When I was diagnosed a handful of years ago, I felt very isolated for a while. I felt like no one could understand what I was going through, and I also felt like I could finally put a name with something that had been afflicting me with all sorts of rotten things since my teen years.

My student went on to say that her doctor told her that she may not be able to have children. She told me about crying through Up and Julie and Julia last summer (check, check). My heart broke for her. On one hand, I told her that she is lucky to be diagnosed with this at a young age so that she can better combat the side effects and health problems that can come along with it. On the other had, she is only 18 and will have much of her youth to be carrying this burden with her. I've always said that I wish I would have been diagnosed earlier (before I was 25). But then again, I was blissfully unaware of things to come. J and I had two years together before we even had to deal with numerous appointments, pills, shots, ultrasounds, HSGs, and the rollercoaster ride that is infertility. While it would have been nice to be able to "get crackin" right away and save ourselves some time, I'm actually somewhat thankful for those years. Our future dreams of having children were romantic and carefree. I think we are now better equipped to deal with this reality. If I had the chance to find out earlier, I think the logic-minded side of me would choose to go that route. Luckily, that's not an option. I think things are better this way.

I sent my student an email when I got home from our lesson and offered her my encouragement and an ear anytime she wants to talk. I'm thankful that we landed on that topic of conversation and hope that I can offer her some support in the years to come! And you know what? Even though I wouldn't wish PCOS or IF on my worst enemy, it was kind of nice to get to talk to another PCOS'er face to face.